I am so tired of going through the same old struggles. I have been really happy lately, but I have these demons that just keep coming back. I am so frustrated with having to forgive the same people daily, because it's not they way they treat me that I am forgiving, but the way they engage in relationship with me. This isn't any of my friends. It's my father. Our relationship will never be what I want it to be.
God has been using this frustration to show me how much he loves me. And I have been doubly blessed in my mother... it's just difficult, especially when I'm away because I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. But would I be able to do anything if I was at home?
I've been meditating on Matt 11:28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
I think it's a beautiful passage. Christ is the ultimate comforter. Sometimes I crave someone to cuddle with and just tell me everything will be ok. In those moments I try to remember this.
It's awful isn't it? How some things never seem to change or get better, especially when it involves a parent. It's great you have a scripture to fall back on, I need to learn to do more of that. Keep immersing yourself in God, through Him all things are made right.
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